Painted Smile
by Raven-DarkBlue
Summary: Ranma sighed, the weight of so many pains pressing.. It's a loooong oneshot! XD


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Painted Smile~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ranma stepped out of the house and walked along the covered walkway. It was  
quite cold outside, and a brisk breeze caused goosepimples to appear  
wherever the gi didn't cover flesh. Ranma quickly entered the dojo which,  
although it wasn't any warmer, was at least protected from the wind.

And then into the kata, the smooth flowing from one form into another. A  
particularly difficult and energetic one today; Ranma felt the need to be  
distracted. And yet, no peace of mind was to be found in the kata. When it  
was done, Ranma felt no better than before.

Growling, and then a running jump into a kick, attacking an imaginary foe.  
If only Pop was here. But he was spending the night in the Saotome home,  
helping Nodoka prepare for today's events. Preparing for what was going to  
happen to Ranma today.

*Today*. It was happening *today*.

The familiar nausea struck. Ranma grimaced and fell to the ground. Oh God,  
not today, not now, I need more time. Not *now*. I'm not ready to get  
married.

The door slid opened. Ranma looked up to see Akane enter. Akane smiled and  
walked over to sit on the ground next to Ranma. "How are you feeling?"

Ranma swallowed. "Better."

"You're still getting nauseous?"

"Yes."

"It'll pass."

"So I've been told." Ranma sat up. "Wanna work out?"

Akane looked dubious. "Will it make you feel better?"

"Probably not. Dammit, did it have to be now?"

"It had to be sometime. We all agreed the sooner the better."

"Yes." Ranma sighed. "Yes, we did, didn't we?"

Akane shifted a little uncomfortably. "Would delaying it help?"

Ranma frowned. "I dunno. What do you think?"

"I think... I think that no matter *when* the wedding is, you'll go through  
this again. Delaying it will only prolong the agony."

"Agony." Ranma pounded the floor once. "That's a good word. Agony.  
Dammit, why the hell did I agree to this?"

Akane chuckled, reached over, and kissed Ranma lightly on the forehead.  
"You know why, silly."

Ranma turned to study Akane. "I forgot... this is probably hard on you,  
too."

Akane shrugged eloquently. "Not as hard as you might think. I've already  
gone through my personal hell."

Ranma frowned at the expression on Akane's face. Despite her assurances,  
there was definitely something inside Akane that was struggling with the  
day's events, too. Ranma sighed, the weight of so many pains pressing.  
This day was getting off to a horrible start and going downhill.

Akane started slightly at the sound of the sigh. She put a smile on her  
face. "Come on. It's not good for the bride to be sitting here  
melancholy." Akane stood and offered her hand. "Let's go inside and get  
some breakfast."

Ranma grabbed her hand and stood. They turned towards the dojo door and  
began to walk slowly back into the house.

Ranma sighed again. "Akane?"

"Yes, Ranma?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything. Name it."

"Could you please not refer to me as the bride?"

Akane reached over to put her arm around Ranma's shoulders. "Of course. I  
understand."

Ranma closed her eyes, for a moment basking in the warmth of Akane's body  
and friendship.

Breakfast was cold. Breakfast was *always* cold. Ranma lifted up her  
teacup to stare into the less-than-tepid water inside. She was really  
coming to hate cold tea.

"Ranma-chan." Ranma flinched slightly; that's what Kasumi had called her  
for the past month or so. Ever since she'd found out. She'd actually been  
the first, before even Ranma knew. "You really should eat some more."

Ranma glared at Kasumi. The last damn thing she needed was  
Kasumi-the-mother.

Kasumi looked back at her serenely, smiling in reassurance. Ranma kept her  
gaze even for another few seconds to let Kasumi know she was not at all  
intimidated, then put her teacup firmly on the table. "I'm done."

"Great, Ranma," Nabiki said dryly. "Take it out on all of us. That's what  
we're here for. Your personal little punching bags. Please, feel free to  
treat us as rudely as possible. We certainly deserve it for the horrible  
way we-"

"Stow it." Ranma rose to her feet. "I'm going to take a bath."

Nabiki languidly stood up as well. "I'll help."

"I don't *need*-"

"Stow it."

Ranma locked her gaze with Nabiki's. Nabiki's gaze was by no means serene,  
but it was steady and even contained no hint of judgment, other than a  
slightly raised eyebrow.

Ranma growled and spun on her heel. She stalked down the hallway to the  
bathroom, Nabiki following somewhat more slowly behind her.

She slid the door open firmly and walked over to the hamper. She  
unceremoniously stripped off her clothing as the sound of water filling the  
tub echoed off the walls. Frowning, she turned. "What the hell good is  
that going to do?"

Nabiki shrugged. "When's the last time you soaked in the tub?"

"We shut off the hot water, you know."

"Despite what your statement implies, I'm not stupid or unobservant."

"You're a real jerk, you know that, Nabiki?"

"And you're not exactly bringing tears of joy to my eyes, Ranma. Wash up."

Ranma growled and sat on the stool. She suddenly felt quite self-conscious.  
Modesty was something she'd never been big on, but for some reason today was  
different. This situation was different. Why, she couldn't guess.

She washed her body efficiently, determined to get this over with as soon as  
possible. She began to lather up her hair when the tub's faucet was shut  
off with a screech. Nabiki came up behind her and put her hands in Ranma's  
hair. "Let me."

Ranma began to protest, then let it go. She lowered her hands and Nabiki  
began briskly scrubbing her scalp. Ranma almost begrudgingly enjoyed the  
sensation.

"You know, you've actually got attractive hair." Nabiki's voice was  
conversational, if a little wary. "Of course, anything was better than that  
stupid pigtail."

Ranma grunted. "Are you capable of giving a compliment without adding an  
insult?"

"Are you capable of accepting one without lashing out at the giver?"

She grit her teeth. "You have no idea what kinda hell I went through over  
my hair."

"You mean that Dragon Whisker thing?"

"No. I mean living in a women's dormitory with a bunch of people who made  
fun of the way I acted. The way I dressed. The way I styled my hair. The  
way I *was*. I changed my hair in the stupid hope that they'd stop teasing  
me over it. All it did was give them more power - if they could get me to  
change *this*, what else could they make me do?"

Nabiki's hands had slowed during the narrative. "I had no idea."

"Of course not. Why should you? You were off at your own college having a  
normal social life."

"Not so normal as you might think," Nabiki said quietly. Her hands began to  
move more quickly, this time rubbing the shampoo vigorously into the strands  
of Ranma's hair. "So how'd you win them over? You seemed pretty popular at  
graduation."

"I didn't win them over at all. *He* did."

"He? He who?"

"*Him*. When they saw that I was... *with* him, they suddenly decided I  
was... that I was... *normal*. Whatever the hell that means."

Nabiki's hands moved away. Cold water began to pour down Ranma's body as  
Nabiki rinsed her hair. Ranma began to stand up but a hand on her shoulder  
stilled her. Something cold and thick was poured on her scalp. Ranma  
grimaced. "One shampoo is enough."

"I quite agree. This is conditioner."

"Conditioner?! What the hell-"

"Because I said so. Because I'm your older sister."

"You are *not*-"

"Close enough." Nabiki worked the conditioner into Ranma's hair. "Stop  
giving me grief. Just this once you're going to do what I say without  
complaint."

"What gives you-"

"Without complaint, I said." Nabiki removed her hands. "Now, sit still for  
a couple of minutes."

Ranma peered at Nabiki over her shoulder. "What are you doing to me?"

Nabiki looked frustrated. "Preparing you for your wedding, idiot."

Ranma studied her for a minute, then heaved a huge sigh and faced forward.  
"You... you're being nice, Nabiki."

"A pleasant thing to say. I may die of shock."

"I mean it." Ranma shifted slightly in her seat. "I... somehow you seemed  
like the last person in the world to be helpful."

"Ah, insults, *that's* the Ranma we all know and love."

"Shut up, Nabiki. I'm doing my best to be grateful. You... you've been  
the... the only one who... who never treated me differently. You don't know  
what... what that meant to me."

"I was just..." Nabiki trailed off, and the teasing faded from her voice.  
"You're welcome."

An uncomfortable silence was finally broken by Nabiki turning on the  
hand-held shower and once again pouring cold water on Ranma's hair. After a  
minute of thorough rinsing, Nabiki rubbed a few strands between her fingers  
and grunted in satisfaction. She produced a towel and patted some of the  
water away before wrapping Ranma's hair in it.

Ranma blew out a peeved breath. "Now what?"

"Now you get into the tub."

"You want me to take a cold bath?"

"Thought you'd be used to them."

"Cold showers, yes, after a fashion. But... well, have you ever tried it?"

Nabiki crossed her arms and tapped her foot. After a second, she shook her  
head. "All right, if that's what it takes." She began to shrug out of her  
tee-shirt.

Ranma reached over and grabbed Nabiki's forearm. "Stop that." She turned  
away and lowered herself gingerly into the bath. It was awful, chilling her  
in a second. And there was something... slimy... in the water. "What'd you  
put in there?"

"Bathing oil. Scented and all that." Nabiki knelt so that she was directly  
behind Ranma's head. "Try and relax."

"You ever relax in cold water?"

"Give it a rest." Nabiki began gently kneading Ranma's shoulders. Ranma  
closed her eyes and bit her lip. She let her muscles loosen and she lay  
limply in the tub, but she wasn't exactly relaxed.

The moment went on and on. Nabiki moved her massage along each of Ranma's  
shoulders and down her arms, working the oil into her skin. Ranma  
cooperated listlessly, simply moving her arms into whatever position Nabiki  
required.

Nabiki continued, having Ranma sit up as she worked on her back. "You know,  
Ranma, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"You told me to, didn't you?"

"Not *this*. The wedding."

Ranma laughed, a cold laugh devoid of humor. "Yes I do."

Nabiki finished the back and lowered Ranma into the water. She began to  
work on the chest and abdomen, giving Ranma some awkward, uncomfortable  
moments. She then moved down the tub a little ways, lifting one of Ranma's  
legs out of the water and working on it as well. From this vantage point  
she could look into Ranma's eyes. "Why do you say that?"

Ranma shrugged. "Because it's true?"

"It's not true." Nabiki looked concerned and puzzled. "You've got a choice  
here."

Ranma laughed again. "I don't have a choice. I *never* had a choice."

Nabiki pushed Ranma's leg back into the water with more force than was  
strictly necessary. She lifted the other leg, at the same time growling.  
"Yes you *do*, Ranma. Say the word and I send everyone packing."

Ranma shook her head with a smile. "You don't get it, Nabiki. All my life,  
I've been doing things out of necessity, not because I wanted to. Dad  
trained me from birth to be a martial artist - never mind whether or not it  
was something I'd've liked to have chosen for myself. He'd take me from  
place to place, on one training mission or another, and damn what I thought  
of it. Hell, it never occurred to me to object. Until Jusenkyo. By then,  
of course, it was too late. I'd been cursed, something else I didn't  
choose.

"Then all of a sudden he tells me I've got a fiancee. A *fiancee*. I was  
engaged to be *married* and he never told me. He did that to me twice. So  
we had to live here and I *had* to be engaged to Akane and Ukyo. And then  
Shampoo and Kodachi came along, and never mind that I didn't want them to be  
my girlfriend. What I wanted was never an issue with either of 'em."

Nabiki lowered Ranma's leg gently into the water, her face quiet. "And then  
Herb."

Ranma nodded. "Now you're getting it. And then Herb. He decided I was  
going to be a woman forever - never mind what it would destroy my life; if  
*he* was going to be stuck, *I* was going to stuck, too. He was petty and  
spiteful, just like everyone else.

"Then Akane and I began to drift apart. And it wasn't what I wanted. I...  
I wanted us to be together but... but I couldn't stop us from breaking up.  
The only one of my fiancees I really cared for. And because of that, I had  
to leave the only home I'd ever known because it was too damned painful on  
everyone for me to stay there."

Nabiki lowered a corner of her mouth. "You're not being entirely fair  
there, Ranma."

"Fair?" Ranma snorted derisively. "Whoever said anything about fair?  
Life's not fair; why should I be?"

Nabiki clenched her jaw. "Kentaro. You chose him."

"Oh, Nabiki." She shook her head again. "You were doing so well. What  
kind of choice do you think I had? He was the only person who even showed  
me the least amount of kindness. I was so lonely I snapped to it like a  
starving man to bread. Of course, he didn't want *me*. He wanted *this*."  
She indicated her nude body laying in the water. "If I'd been a guy, he'd  
never have given me a second look."

Nabiki was looking more and more angry. "Ranma..."

The smile on her lips began to fade. "And then, after he'd gotten me  
hooked, after I couldn't go on without his friendship, he suddenly decides I  
have to be his girlfriend or nothing at all. Never mind what I want. Never  
mind that he was my last link to sanity, and that *he* was being unfair as  
hell by using that to force my hand. Either I let him... kiss me... *touch*  
me... or... nothing. Or I die. And he knew that."

"Ranma!" Nabiki took a couple of deep, angry breaths. "You know perfectly  
well it was nothing at all like that."

Rage suddenly flooded Ranma. She could feel her face turn red. "AND DO YOU  
KNOW WHY I'M GETTING MARRIED?!" She surged out of the water, managing to  
get Nabiki very wet. Ranma poked herself in the navel. "It's because of  
*this*! I didn't choose it! I didn't want it to happen! But it did so I  
have to get married so DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE A CHOICE!"

Nabiki's mouth was open. She stared at Ranma in angry shock. Finally, she  
slowly rose to her feet, actually trembling in anger. "Go to hell, Ranma.  
If you really believe that, then you can go to hell." She whirled and  
stalked towards the door. She paused halfway there, picked up a large white  
towel, spun, threw it at Ranma's face, then turned again and left.

Ranma let the towel hit her and held it there, letting her own hot breath  
suffocate her. Damn it all, it didn't have to be like this.

Did it?

With a sigh she stepped out of the tub and unfolded the towel. It turned  
out to be by far the largest towel she'd ever used; it could substitute for  
a bedspread. She pressed the towel against her skin and felt the water  
almost sucked away by soft luxuriousness of the cloth. Ranma slowly dried  
herself, letting the towel warm her skin and the silence of the moment calm  
her mind.

"Ranma-chan." Kasumi's voice drifted from the bathroom door. "Your parents  
are here."

Damn. She should have known the moment would be all too fleeting. She  
wrapped herself in the towel and stepped out into the hallway, to be greeted  
by the beaming image of her mother.

"Ranma!" Nodoka beamed and hugged her closely. "Oh, I'm so excited."  
Indeed, she was quivering slightly as she held Ranma. "Come, come, we don't  
have much time!" She ushered Ranma down the hall.

Ranma gritted her teeth, determined not to make a sound, afraid of what  
might come out. Instead, she allowed herself to be almost pushed up the  
stairs to the master bedroom. Her father was just carefully laying a white  
dress on the bed. He looked up and his eyes met Ranma's. There was  
something inscrutable in them before he ducked his head. He walked out of  
the bedroom, squeezing Ranma's arm in passing.

Nodoka immediately began straightening the dress where it lay. "Okay, dear,  
let's begin."

Ranma wondered exactly what was going to 'begin'. She sighed and wandered  
over to the bureau. It was filled with her clothes, placed there last night  
in preparation for the time when this room would be hers. Today, after...

Ranma squelched that train of thought. She reached into the drawer and  
quickly put on some undergarments while the towel was still draped over her.

"Over here." Ranma turned to see that Nodoka had unpacked a great deal of  
cosmetics onto the bedside table, and had pulled it over to the full-length  
mirror on the wall. "Really, dear, you should get a vanity."

"A vanity?!" Ranma dropped the towel to the floor. "What do I need one of  
them for?"

Nodoka, for her part, looked just as shocked. "What are you wearing?!"

Ranma glanced down. "I'll take off the tee-shirt when we put on the dress,  
Mom."

"No." Nodoka pointed. "*Those*. My daughter is *not* going to get married  
wearing boxer shorts."

"Mom-" Ranma snapped her mouth shut and took a breath. "They're more  
comfortable."

"They are not appropriate for the dress."

"They're not gonna show through."

"Dear-" Nodoka took her own deep breath. "Just- please, sit over here."  
She indicated a chair she'd also placed in front of the mirror.

"Mom, I ain't gonna wear makeup."

"Please do try to talk correctly today, Ranma."

"Mom!"

"Ranma. I am allowing you your idiosyncrasy. Please allow me mine."

Ranma stood her ground for a moment, then slumped her shoulders. She slowly  
walked towards the chair and sat on it, feeling as if she was about to be  
electrocuted.

"Thank you." Nodoka unwrapped the towel that still covered Ranma's scalp.  
She took a brush off the table and began to vigorously brush the still-damp  
hair. "You smell nice, dear."

"Nabiki's doing. She rubbed some sorta- some bath oil on me."

"I see." Nodoka paused in the brushing long enough to finger Ranma's  
shoulder. "It feels quite soft. She did an excellent job."

Ranma shrugged her shoulders, dislodging her mother's hand. "I guess."

Nodoka resumed the brushing. "I don't think we should be too elaborate with  
your hair. Your natural style fits you very well. I would like to curl it  
slightly in the back so that the ends don't show. Perhaps a bit of mousse  
so that it doesn't become too unruly."

"Whatever, Mom."

Nodoka finished the brushing, then picked up a strange instrument Ranma had  
never seen before. It was plugged in, and as it was carried past her cheek  
she could feel heat coming from it. Something was clamped on Ranma's hair,  
and she was not at all reassured by the smell. "Mom!"

"Relax, dear." Nodoka's voice was smooth and reassuring. "It's normal."

Ranma looked at her mother's face in the mirror. She was serene and  
actually seemed to be enjoying herself. Ranma swallowed in an attempt to  
keep herself from speaking.

The curling iron was used in several different places. Nodoka then switched  
it off and set it on the table. She picked up a can and sprayed something  
that looked like whipped cream into her hand. She lightly rubbed her hands  
with it before running her fingers through Ranma's hair, spreading the  
mousse throughout.

Ranma couldn't help smile. "Shampoo and conditioner and mousse? Do you do  
this every day, Mom?"

"Every day."

"Do you wear cologne, too?"

"Perfume, yes, on occasion. When I am working."

"Hmm." Ranma decided to keep the joke to herself.

Nodoka took a comb and began to carefully style Ranma's hair. Ranma watched  
as her hair was almost sculpted into place. She couldn't help admiring the  
end result. Never in her whole life had her hair looked as good as it did  
right now. So clean, neat, and... orderly.

Nodoka's smile grew wider for a moment. Then she reached over and opened a  
jar. She scooped out a bit of cream and reached towards Ranma's face.  
Ranma flinched away.

Her mother sighed. "Dear, please try not to move."

Ranma steeled herself. "Yes, Mother." She locked her neck in place as  
Nodoka rubbed the cream along her cheeks. There followed a strange kind of  
powder - almost a paste - that was also applied to her cheeks. Ranma did  
her best to keep her skin from crawling.

She couldn't help herself. "Mother?"

"Yes, dear?"

"It's not an idiosyncrasy."

Nodoka didn't answer except to apply yet another layer of makeup, this time  
with a brush.

"Mom?"

"I heard you, dear," she said in a noncommittal tone of voice.

"Do you know what it means?"

"Dear." The brush slowed slightly. "Please. I'd rather not."

"I'm a guy. I'm your son."

"Ranma-"

"Mom!" Ranma saw her cheeks flushing. "I can't be your daughter. I know  
that... that you need to pretend that because... because of today. But...  
but I'm not."

"Ranma." Nodoka set the small brush down. She picked up an even smaller  
brush and turned Ranma's head so that they were eye-to-eye. She made a  
stabbing motion towards Ranma's left eye, and Ranma closed it reflexively.  
Something began to brush her eyelid, and she found the sensation quite  
disconcerting.

"Ranma." Nodoka's voice had a hint of panic in it. "Why are you doing  
this?"

"Because, Mom... I mean, I know what it's like to live a lie. I was Ranko  
to you for so long. Every time I lied to you, it hurt. A lot. If you lie  
to yourself, it's all gonna come crashing down on you and... and I don't  
want to see that. I mean, hell, at one point you were going to make me kill  
myself because I wasn't manly. What will you do to me later, when you can't  
lie to yourself any more?"

The brush moved to her other eye. "I am not lying to myself."

"Mom! You keep calling me 'dear' and treating me like a woman and calling  
me your daughter."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"It's not who I am!" Ranma drew her head a little back and opened her eye.  
"Paint me as much as you want, it don't change nothin'!"

Nodoka turned towards the table again. She picked up yet another brush, a  
small stiff one the curved slightly. "Try not to blink." She began to  
brush Ranma's lashes.

Ranma was getting more and more angry. Again. "Are you listening, Mom?"

"To every word."

"Then tell me who I am. Acknowledge who I am."

"Do you remember, dear, the story you and your fiance told me about how he  
found out you were pregnant?"

At the mention, a wave of nausea swept over Ranma. She swallowed several  
times, at the same time keeping her eyes frozen open. "Yes." Kentaro had  
told the story to her parents about a month ago. He wasn't particularly  
good at recanting anecdotes, but his bland delivery had somehow made the  
tale hilarious. The four of them had laughed for a long time.

"He told me that a bowl of soup flew towards you, and you leapt out of the  
way."

"Uh... yes."

Nodoka finished with the eyelashes. She now picked up what looked like a  
pencil. She began to draw around Ranma's eyes and eyebrows. Ranma was  
afraid to ask what she was doing. "Why did you leap out of the way?"

"Umm..." Ranma wasn't sure how to answer. The question was so awkward  
and... and *personal*. And embarrassing. Rather like, Ranma was forced to  
admit, the questions she herself was asking her mother.

Nodoka didn't try to wait her out. "A sense of panic? Dread? A kind of  
horror that had you reacting without thinking?"

"Umm..." That was actually an eerily accurate description. "Yeah."

Nodoka nodded. "Well, Ranma, my dear child, *that* is who you are to me."

Ranma's jaw dropped open. "I fill you with dread?"

"Don't be obtuse." Nodoka examined Ranma's eyes closely, then took the  
pencil away and set it on the table. She returned this time with lipstick,  
Ranma's mouth conveniently positioned for her to begin applying it. "I  
would give my life for you. In a peculiar sort of way, I already have."

Ranma wanted to reply but couldn't because of her mother's hands maneuvering  
her lips around. Ranma waited, but found that when her mouth was free again  
she had nothing to say.

Nodoka smiled slightly and nodded. She handed a folded piece of paper to  
Ranma. Ranma took it and flipped it open, but nothing was written on it.

Nodoka's smile grew a little wider. "Bite on it."

Puzzled, Ranma refolded the paper and put it between her teeth.

"With your lips, dear."

Ranma pressed her lips against the paper. She opened her mouth and saw that  
a bit of lipstick remained on the paper. What purpose that all served she  
had no idea.

Nodoka eyed her critically. "That will do for now. After we put on the  
dress we can do some final touch-ups."

Ranma looked in the mirror and froze. The person who was looking back at  
her was... beautiful. The kind that would have turned her head back in high  
school. Hell, it still *would* turn it. A face without blemish, cheeks  
that were even in tone with a hint of color that followed the curve of her  
face perfectly. Long, lush lashes, distinct eyebrows, red lips... it was  
someone's ideal of beauty.

Feminine beauty.

Ranma turned her head away, unable to stand the sight of the stranger in the  
mirror. "Looks great, Mom," she murmured.

"Good. Now, time for the dress."

Ranma frowned. "Already?"

"About thirty minutes, and even then, we're rushing things."

Ranma blinked. Now that she thought about it, she could hear the bustle of  
background activity, voices calling out to each other, footsteps walking to  
and fro downstairs. It was almost time.

Almost on cue, Kasumi, wearing a light-red satin dress, poked her head in  
the door. "Do you need help?"

"Yes, Kasumi, if you would please." Nodoka met Kasumi at the dress, and  
they began to remove the plastic wrapping.

Ranma got up and stood in the center of the room, unsure of what she was  
supposed to do.

Kasumi and Nodoka positioned themselves, each holding part of the dress much  
as two farmers might hold a burlap sack full of seed. "All right, take off  
your shirt, please," Nodoka said.

Ranma grimaced, having never felt so self-conscious in her life - and, given  
some of the things that had happened to her, that was saying something. She  
removed her shirt and stood practically naked before her mother and Kasumi.

Kasumi frowned slightly. "Boxer shorts?"

"Put your arms straight out in front of you," Nodoka said before Ranma could  
reply. Ranma sighed and complied.

Kasumi and Nodoka maneuvered the dress over her arms and down her body.  
Ranma felt like a mess in satin and lace. Kasumi immediately began to  
fasten some clasps in the back while Nodoka began rearranging the dress,  
moving parts of Ranma's anatomy around that Ranma would have preferred her  
mother not touch. She tugged the dress in a few more places, then stepped  
back with Kasumi. They both looked her up and down.

Kasumi sighed. "You look lovely, Ranma-chan."

Ranma refrained from commenting.

The task was not yet complete. They had her stand there while Kasumi did  
some touch-up work on her hair, then added a veil. Nodoka applied a couple  
of other brushstrokes to Ranma's cheeks, then began to apply more of the  
powder to the flesh that showed above the dress. Ranma stood it as best she  
could.

After a bit they helped her carefully step into some shoes. Ranma grew an  
inch but no more, she was relieved to note. Mastering heels was not on her  
agenda for the day.

At last, Nodoka smiled widely. "Oh, Ranma... come, look at yourself." She  
gently lay her hands on Ranma's shoulders to turn her towards the mirror.

"No!" Ranma twisted away and stared at the bedroom door, avoiding both the  
mirror and her mother's gaze.

An awkward silence filled the room. Finally, Nodoka spoke in a sad,  
slightly hurt voice. "Ranma, all any of us ever want is your happiness.  
You came to me and indicated that this is what you wanted. You fought me  
for this. I accepted your decision because I love you. If this is not what  
you want, tell me and I'll stop it. Because, again, I love you and want you  
to be happy."

Ranma felt the words coming and couldn't stop them. "Tell me, Mother, if I  
*did* decide to not accept this, if I instead broke off the engagement and  
went and had an abortion - or even if I decided to keep the baby, but  
remained single - tell me that you wouldn't be ashamed of me. Tell me that  
you wouldn't think I had dishonored the family."

No answer. Ranma waited for a minute. Finally a strange sort of squeal  
made her turn her head. Nodoka had her head on Kasumi's shoulder, and was  
sobbing as silently as she could. Kasumi was cradling Nodoka as best she  
could. She looked at Ranma, and there was no anger or judgment on her face,  
which for some reason made her gaze all the more damning for it.

Ranma felt her gut turn to ice and her heart turn to ashes. She turned in  
place and walked carefully towards her mother. "Mom..." She didn't know  
what to say, so instead she leaned forward to rest her forehead against her  
mother's shoulder. Nodoka clutched at her, hugging her closely but still  
careful with the dress.

They stood there for a couple of minutes in a mostly-silent tableau,  
punctuated by the occasional sob from Nodoka. Ranma wondered if she should  
be crying, too, but felt no tears coming.

Another knock on the door, and Akane's voice floated from the other side.  
"It's time."

Nodoka immediately released her. Ranma straightened to look into her  
mother's face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and tears had marked a clear  
path down her cheek. She was smiling though, and her tone was bright. "Go  
on. You don't want to keep the groom waiting." She seemed to want to say  
more, but failed to produce anything.

Ranma felt her heart squeeze in her chest. There was so much she had to say  
but no time to say it. She leaned forward once again to kiss her mother's  
cheek. They looked deeply into each other's eyes for a few seconds, and  
Ranma wasn't sure if something was drawing them closer together or breaking  
them further apart in that moment.

Nodoka indicated the door. "Please. If you wish."

Ranma turned and walked slowly towards the door, her heart thumping wildly,  
her head churning with many strong, conflicting emotions.

She opened the door. Akane looked her up and down and broke out into a huge  
smile. "Wow, Ranma. You look great. Perfect. Nabiki and your mother did  
a wonderful job on you."

And I did a wonderful job on them, she said silently. "Where do I go from  
here?"

"Follow me." She handed Ranma a bouquet of flowers then led her down the  
hall, carefully down the steps, and to the small foyer where a man in a  
tuxedo stood surrounded by various women in red gowns.

She walked up to the man, who took her arm. The other women took position  
around them, ready to precede them out the door.

The man spoke in a neutral tone of voice. "Ready?"

Panic gripped her more strongly than it ever had before. "Tell you what,  
Pop. You grab our bags, I'll run upstairs and change, and we go back on our  
training mission."

Genma looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. Very. I want out. I want to run away from it all and forget that  
any of it ever happened."

The hallway grew very still. Nodoka and Kasumi came down the steps, Kasumi  
remaining with the bridesmaids while Nodoka continued out the door after a  
final squeezing of hands.

After another moment, Genma spoke. "There are things you can't run away  
from, Son."

Ranma grimaced. "I could get an abortion. It's not too late for that. Or  
hell, we could raise the kid as we went along. You did that once before."

"That's not what I mean." Genma sighed and turned to face her. "I spent  
ten years running away from my problems. Running away from my duties and  
responsibilities. I thought at the time it would be liberating - if my  
problems were behind me, they couldn't bother me." Genma shook his head.  
"It didn't work. All I did was make the inevitable confrontation worse.  
Much worse. I almost lost you. And I *did* lose your mother. Whatever  
relationship we reach now will only be a shadow of what it once was. Of  
what it might have been, if I'd only stayed and dealt with my problems  
like-"

"Like a man?"

Genma looked at her disapprovingly. "I was going to say, like a true  
martial artist. I showed cowardice in the face of the enemy, and was  
punished for it." Genma reached out to grab Ranma's shoulder. "Please,  
don't make the same mistakes I did, Son. My most important goal in my life  
is to make sure that you become a better person than I was. So far, you've  
done a splendid job of that. Don't backslide now."

Ranma felt a familiar anger building. "Great. You too."

Genma raised his eyebrows slightly. "What does that mean?"

"That means," Ranma said with heat, "that if I don't go through with this,  
I'll have to live with *your* disappointment too."

"Don't be stupid, Ranma." A bit of irritation was creeping into Genma's  
voice. "I'm saying that if you have doubts, deal with them here and now.  
If you decide you don't want to get married, fine. But have the courage and  
decency to talk to your fiance first. If that is what you want, I will  
support you, as I always have. I only-"

"I know," Ranma overrode him. "You only want me to be happy. All the whole  
world wants is for me to be happy. Just so long as my happiness happens to  
coincide with their wishes."

Genma looked at him evenly for a moment. Then he brought his hand up in a  
blur to strike at Ranma's head. She ducked under the blow, only to see his  
other hand jabbing at her midsection. She redirected the punch with her  
free hand, at the same time leaping backwards. Bridesmaids scattered out of  
the way as Ranma came to the ground ten feet away.

Ranma tossed the bouquet behind her and stood in a ready position. Damn the  
fact that she couldn't use her legs for attack; Genma would have a  
considerable advantage. Still, she'd make do. "All right, Pop, you want  
it, come get it!"

Genma stood his ground, crossing his arms across his chest. "Is that all  
you're capable of, Son? Mean, spiteful words, meant to hurt as much as  
possible?" He shook his head. "You are in need of a thrashing as you never  
have been in your life. Now I understand why Akane kept hitting you. It  
appears to be the only way to get your attention."

"I don't want anyone's attention!" Something was stealing her rationality,  
and she didn't care. "I want everyone to leave me alone, I want the whole  
world to go away!"

Genma frowned slightly. "And why is that?"

"LOOK AT ME!" She straightened and indicated her attire. "LOOK! I'm  
getting married today and I'M WEARING A DRESS!" She turned and punched the  
wall hard, creating a very nice hole. "I HATE IT! I HATE WHAT I'VE BECOME  
AND WHAT I'M BECOMING! And I hate it that EVERYONE IS SO DAMNED HAPPY ABOUT  
IT!"

"Shall we hold a wake instead? Here lie the final remains of Ranma, now let  
us mourn as he enters a life of eternal damnation."

Ranma made a fist. "DON'T MAKE JOKES!"

"I wasn't." Genma sighed. "Ranma, I don't believe any of it, not for one  
second."

Ranma was able to bring it down a notch. "What, you calling me a liar!"

"A liar of the worst kind. The one who lies to himself."

Ranma wanted to spit. "Spare me the psychobabble, Pop. You ain't pulling  
it off."

"I may not know psychology, Ranma, but I know you." Genma's tone remained  
even and steady, a stark contrast to Ranma's almost-shrill speech. "No  
one - and I mean *no one* - makes you do anything against your will."

"Like hell. You got me engaged against my will."

Genma laughed. "Like hell. I had to knock you out to get you into the  
dojo, true. But I never had to knock you out again, not after you met  
Akane. Afterwards you complained and moaned about the engagement, but you  
didn't run away from it. I knew then that you had accepted it. Wanted it,  
even. I had hoped that you might like one of Tendo's daughters, because I  
knew if you didn't, there was no way I was going to be able to keep my  
promise to him."

Ranma stood still, absorbing the words.

Genma nodded in satisfaction. "And I notice that no one had to knock you  
unconscious to get that dress on you, either. You went along with it  
because you knew you wanted it. But there's a large part of you is deathly  
afraid of commitment - that part you got from me, I might add - and there's  
a large part of you that is repelled by the idea of marrying a man. You  
need to release it somehow. Usually you can use the Art to release your  
negative emotions. But now, today, at the time you need the Art the most,  
you're unable to use it. So you reverted to your other specialty, something  
else you learned from me, to my shame. You attacked with words, and damn if  
you aren't remarkably effective with them. Perhaps college taught you too  
much."

Genma strode up to her, stopping within easy arm's reach. "So let's fight,  
Ranma. Attack me for as long as it takes to get the doubt out of your  
system. When you're done - when you're *sure* - then we'll proceed with  
whatever decision you make."

Ranma found difficulty in breathing. "Is that the only way out of this? To  
beat my father to a bloody pulp?"

"No. You can do what the rest of the world does." He indicated the people  
around them. "You can trust the decisions you made to reach this point.  
You can trust that those who love you and care about you would let you know  
if what you're doing isn't right. Everyone's happy because everyone knows  
that this *is* what you want and need. Instead of hurting them, try  
listening to them."

Ranma looked around. Each of the women who met her gaze gave her a smile  
and a nod - even Nabiki. When Ranma looked at Kasumi, she smiled and said,  
"Ranma-chan, trust your heart. Sometimes it is the only thing that makes  
any logical sense."

Ranma swallowed and looked back at her father. Genma raised an eyebrow.  
"Do you need to attack me?"

Ranma shook her head.

"Shall we call off the wedding?"

Ranma shook her head again.

"Then are you ready to begin?"

Ranma nodded.

Akane held out a bouquet. Ranma accepted it numbly. Akane quickly  
rearranged some of Ranma's clothing, including dropping the veil in place.  
Someone opened the front door and music began to play. The bridesmaids  
hurried into position and began walking out the door.

Genma offered his arm and Ranma took it. They held each other's eyes again.

"Tell me true, Pop. Is this what you imagined for me? Even after  
Jusenkyo - even after Herb - did you ever think you and I would be doing  
this?"

"The truth, Ranma? The possibility never occurred to me. After Jusenkyo, I  
was afraid that your life would never settle down, that you would have one  
misadventure after another and never know peace. After Herb, I was terribly  
afraid you would walk your life alone and unloved. The truth, Ranma? After  
a period of... adjustment, I was tremendously relieved to discover that you  
had found love. I know that young man will stay devoted to you for the rest  
of your life and give you stability and contentment I never could. The  
truth, Ranma? I never imagined a moment quite like this, but that doesn't  
mean I'm unhappy. In fact, I am overjoyed beyond my ability to describe.  
Many years from now you'll stand in at your child's wedding, and you'll know  
how I feel at this moment, and why I was grateful that you provided it for  
me."

Ranma quirked a corner of her mouth. "Pretty sappy, old man."

It didn't phase him. "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Ranma laughed. Genma pulled on her arm, and together they walked out the  
door to the wedding party that awaited them.

Ranma looked down the aisle between the rows of folding chairs set up on the  
Tendo lawn. And there he was, staring at her with eyes that had grown very  
wide. She supposed his tuxedo was supposed to be dapper and all that, but  
she wasn't in the mood to notice. Indeed, a deep-seated revulsion swept  
over her at the sight of him. She slowed her pace a fraction, only to be  
pulled along by Genma. It was a subtle jostling, probably missed by  
everyone present, and in the end Ranma made no further attempts at escape.

Genma released her at the head of the aisle, and momentum carried her the  
rest of the way. She looked into his eyes, trying to find in them the  
reason she was standing here.

Trust, Ranma, she thought to herself. Trust that the memory of loving him,  
of telling him that you loved him, is true. Trust that Kasumi or Akane or  
Nabiki or even Mom would have been observant enough to notice that you  
didn't really love him, if that had been the case. Trust that the reason  
there's a child growing within you is because you loved this man enough to  
share yourself completely with him.

She gave him a small smile, hoping that it didn't look as false as it felt.  
She would not have thought it possible that his smile could grow any wider,  
but it did.

Blessedly, he was forced by the ceremony to turn his attention forward.  
Ranma went through the ceremony, feeling every word like a weight on her  
soul, every vow a chain on her heart, and every passing moment a wasted  
chance to stop before it was too late.

Words, more words, a question, one that went on and on, finally finished,  
the minister looking at her expectantly. She looked blankly at the  
minister, then over at the man standing next to her. He looked back at her,  
the smile still on his lips. As she continued to stare at him, the smile  
began to dim, and his brow began to furrow. "Ranma?"

She whirled towards Akane. "Hold this for a sec." She thrust her bouquet  
into Akane's startled hands, then reached behind her without looking to grab  
his hand. "Come with me." She began to stalk down the aisle amidst the  
rising clamor. She grimaced and barked at the crowd, "Everyone wait! We'll  
be back!"

"Ranma!" A bit of panic colored his voice. "Where are we going?"

She stopped suddenly, turned, and grabbed his tuxedo with one hand. "Hold  
on." She jumped.

Various exclamations came from the crowd, one of the loudest coming from  
right in front of her. Ranma concentrated on landing on the roof. Her  
dress billowed around her as she came down, temporarily blinding her.

She landed and released his tuxedo. "We need to talk."

He was standing with his hand over his breast, looking slightly pale.  
"Evidently. Ranma... you're not feeling good, are you?"

"Full marks to Kenny the wonder-boy. No, I do *not* feel good."

"Ranma-"

"Shut up."

He sighed and reached out to gently put his hand on her shoulder. "All  
right. What is it you need to say?"

"This you call shutting up?"

He swallowed something else he was obviously about to say, then waited for  
her to continue.

Ranma gritted her teeth as a seething wave of anger washed over her. After  
it had mostly gone, she blurted out. "Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Make me choose. Between being either your girlfriend or nothing at all."

"I never said-"

"Don't deny it. You kept coming on and coming on, making it more and more  
clear that you wanted me. And when I asked if you couldn't just be my  
friend, you told me flat out you couldn't. Hell, you didn't even try."

"Ranma-"

"And you *knew*. You *knew* how vulnerable I was. So easy to manipulate  
the desperately lonely, isn't it?"

Silence. Ranma waited, then barked out. "Well? Are you going to answer  
me?"

"Are you going to let me finish speaking?"

"Damn you, Kentaro. I hate it when you act this way. Like we're all idiots  
who can't get by without your divine wisdom."

"Ranma... Listen, I only said that I wanted to be *more* than friends. I  
never said I would stop *being* your friend."

"Oh come *on*. You knew that once you'd crossed that line, once you'd  
admitted it to my face, that there was no turning back. If I turned you  
down, seeing me would cause you pain. You'd put on a face of false cheer,  
but you'd have this intense longing inside of you that would torture you  
horribly. And I'd feel guilty and angry at seeing you hurting like that.  
We'd try, but it would get harder and harder, until we had to stop being  
friends."

"You don't know-"

"I *do* know!" Ranma quivered slightly in anger. "I *lived* it! What do  
you think happened between me and Akane? It woulda been the same with us.  
You coulda just stayed my friend. You coulda practiced a little  
self-restraint, done everything you could have done to *be* my friend, and  
let things move at their own pace."

"And if they didn't?" He shifted his stance slightly, careful to keep his  
balance on the roof tiles. "You'd had over two years to let things move at  
their own pace. They didn't. Even with my friendship, you were miserable  
and likely to remain so. Something had to give."

He paused a moment, then continued. "Yes, I risked not seeing you any more.  
You don't know how hard that was. But it was my intent to have you decide  
what to do with your life. You were living an in-between existence and it  
was killing you. Reject me or stay with me, you were going to have to  
decide something about yourself."

"Noble. It must be so great to be perfect enough to decide what other  
people need and to shove what's good for them right down their throats."

"Dammit!" He sounded definitely angry now. "I'm not perfect. Hell, I  
think I've proven that to you over and over. But Ranma... I *was* right.  
You *did* need to make a choice. Or have you forgotten the little speech  
you made to me the first time I saw you drunk?"

"Oh, the ends justifying the means, the oldest moral cop-out on the books."  
Ranma shook her head. "And it was so convenient the choice you were forcing  
on me happened to concern being your girlfriend, neh? Certainly no other  
way to get through to me, was there?"

A sound almost like a growl was choked off almost immediately. "Ranma... I  
don't care what you say. I *was* concerned about you. I wanted you to...  
to do what was... *right*. Not for me, but for *you*."

"Nice speech. But what about later? Just before graduation?"

"Hey, that was your mother who-"

"Leave my mother out of it. When graduation was looming, and I was talking  
about founding my own dojo. You assumed - *assumed* - that it was going to  
be located where you were going to med school."

"I- I only wanted you to take my med school into consideration as you chose  
a place."

"And I was still struggling with what it meant to be dating a guy. You knew  
I couldn't say that I loved you yet, and you knew I wasn't ready to hear you  
say it. But you did. Before graduation, you told me you loved me and  
wanted to marry me eventually."

"But, graduation was coming! You needed to decide something soon, and I  
needed to tell you how I felt so you could understand-"

She reached out and shoved him violently away. He fell to the ground and  
skidded on the tiles a small distance before he was able to stop himself.  
She stalked over to stand over him. "Do you think I'm that stupid?! That I  
didn't know graduation was coming, and that I needed to make a choice?!  
That I didn't already know how you felt?! That I needed you, the wise  
future Doctor Marumoto, to tell me, the simple Phys Ed major, what the  
situation was?"

Shock covered his face. He opened his mouth but no sound came out.

She leaned down and looked into his face. "Answer me! Do you think I'm  
stupid?"

He stared into her eyes for a while, then hung his head. "Didn't... I  
mean... you... you said you loved me. Even before Akane came back."

"Yes, I said that. And I meant it. But Ken-chan... don't you think it  
would have been better if I could have said it without the extra pressure?"

He was breathing heavily. What she could see of his eyes were moving back  
and forth, an indication he was thinking furiously.

Finally he rose to his feet. Ranma took a step back to give him room. He  
stood still for a moment making sure he had his balance, then looked into  
her eyes. "I never really thought about it that way..."

Ranma barked a laugh. "That's just it. You *didn't* think. Didn't stop to  
consider just what you were really asking... the pressure that you put on me  
with those choices."

He sighed, closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. He spoke  
in a soft, gentle voice. "You're right. I didn't. I thought... I hoped  
that you wanted what I wanted. That you just needed a little push, and  
maybe you'd see that. I never stopped to think that I might be pushing too  
hard... that I might really be driving you further away."

He looked off to the side, unable to meet her gaze. "Oh... God, Ranma... I  
am so sorry..." His head dropped further as he spoke. "I'm sorry that I  
pushed you around for... for my own damned desires. I... didn't realize  
just how much pressure I was putting on you." He looked up, his expression  
haunted and guilty. "I, I can only say... I'm sorry."

Ranma tilted her head and considered him coolly.

He looked over his shoulder, back where the wedding had been taking place.  
"And wouldn't it have been better if we'd gotten married when you were ready  
to get married, right? We could have had a small civil ceremony to appease  
your mother, and then waited for the larger celebration when you were  
emotionally prepared. That would have been better for you." He looked  
forward once more into her eyes. "For both of us."

Ranma nodded. "Quite possibly."

He spread his hands. "I... anything you want me to do... name it. I've  
been a bastard, I admit. But... well, it's... I... I love you. I don't  
know if that explains or excuses anything but... but it's been behind  
everything I've done for the past five years."

Ranma took a step back and looked him up and down critically.

He stood there under her scrutiny, his expression one of abject misery.  
When she didn't say anything, he asked, "Ranma, please, tell me what you're  
feeling."

She shook her head. "One apology doesn't make up for all that you did to  
me. But-" she added quickly as his face began to fall further "-it's a  
start. We need to talk about this some more. Make sure we deal with this  
right. Because, on my honor as head of the Tendo family, I am *not* going  
to go through another ordeal like today."

He looked grim. "I think I understand. If... if you want, I... I can... go  
back to my old apartment and... and we can do this when you're ready."

Ranma sighed in frustration. "Why does everyone think that just because I'm  
unhappy about being forced into this marriage means that I don't want to get  
married?!"

Kentaro stood still for a moment, then approached her slowly. "Ranma, do  
you want to get married?"

Ranma sighed and let loose a lot of tension. "Yes."

"To me?"

"Yes."

"A man?"

She hesitated. "As... as long as you don't expect me to act... feminine."  
She gestured. "Wear dresses and makeup, that whole bit."

He nodded. "I promise. You're right it's... it's not how I think of you,  
really." He bit his lip. "But Ranma... do you mind if I think of you as...  
as the mother of our child?"

She rubbed her stomach through the dress, where a bulge was only just barely  
beginning to show. "No, I don't mind. I... it's something I... Well, I  
don't mind."

"Ranma." He reached out to cup her cheeks. "For the record: I don't think  
you're stupid. If anyone's been stupid, it's me."

Ranma shook her head. "You weren't stupid. Just inconsiderate."

"Yes."

"And selfish."

"Yes."

"And unfair."

"Yes."

"And-"

"Don't push it."

For the first time that day, genuine amusement bubbled up in her, putting a  
smile on her lips. "You're learning. That's good. If I make enough things  
blindingly obvious to you in my own subtle way, you might actually be  
tolerable."

He laughed, and she could hear quite a bit of relief in it. He quieted  
down. "As corny as this sounds, can we make today the first day of the rest  
of our lives together?"

She chuckled. "Corny is what you specialize in, Ken-chan. But I do like  
the idea of a fresh start."

He carefully got down on one knee. "Tendo Ranma, will you-"

"Stow the theatrics, Marumoto." She reached down and pulled him to his  
feet.

He furrowed his brow. "Ranma, tell me... how are you feeling?"

Ranma looked up at the sky. "Not the best. I just wish... that... oh hell,  
I don't even know where to begin." She looked into his eyes. "It comes  
down to the same old thing. I don't know about the Nyannichuan, and Herb,  
and what happened between me and Akane, and what happened to me at college,  
and what I went through when Mom found out, and the whole pregnancy thing...  
There's so much stuff I'd like to change about how that all happened. But  
the one thing I don't want to change is falling in love with you."

He smiled tentatively at her.

She shook her head. "Just don't think you can abuse that, make me do  
anything you want just because-"

"I won't. I absolutely promise. I think I've pushed that to the straining  
point."

"And damn near beyond." She sighed and grabbed his tuxedo again. "Let's  
get this over with." She jumped, her dress once again billowing about her.

He yelped again as they landed. He swallowed heavily. "Ranma... could you  
warn me before you do that?"

A bit of amusement further penetrated her gloom. "I suppose." She grabbed  
his arm. "Let's go." She turned and blinked at the large crowd that had  
gathered.

"Ranma." Akane's voice was on the verge of laugher. "You *do* have a most  
unique style for resolving conflicts. I guess it was good you guys got this  
straightened out. But Ranma..." She tilted her head, an affectionate grin  
covering her face. "Boxer shorts?"

Ranma flushed as a chuckle passed through the crowd.

Kentaro bent down and spoke softly in her ear. "Just so you know, I find  
them rather attractive. The dress and makeup - that's not the Ranma I know.  
The boxer shorts - they *are* the Ranma I know."

Ranma looked up once again into his eyes. She saw a large part of guilt  
there, but also a gentle humor. And love.

And that, she supposed, was all right.

She nodded her head. "I do."

His face grew serious. "I do, too. And I promise... to never ever pressure  
you again."

Sure, a voice in her head said, now that he's got everything he wanted, he's  
ready to give you some room. She suppressed yet another sigh and tilted her  
head up towards him. He raised her veil and kissed her as the audience  
applauded.

She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy it. And she did, after a fashion.  
She loved him and looked forward to a life together with him, starting with  
the life that was growing inside her. She imagined a nice future in front  
of her.

If she could escape the ghosts of the past.

She deepened the kiss just to keep herself from thinking too much.

The minister spoke from somewhere in the crowd. "I now pronounce you man  
and wife."

Somewhere deep inside her mind, Ranma shuddered.


End file.
